Now I realize due dates are just estimates, and truly, the average length of pregnancy for a first time mommy is 41 weeks, 4 days. BUT I was over it. I'd been having regular contractions since somewhere around 16-18 weeks which had now turned into every 5-7 minutes every night... and p.s. they were not comfortable. My ankles were ENORMOUS. Like so big I literally could only wear crocs and uggs, and if you are a good friend of mine, you got pictures of them sent to you on a regular basis (sorry). I couldn't even look at a tomato without getting heartburn that felt like a blow torch in my chest. I had round ligament pain so bad in my left hip that getting in and out of bed to use the bathroom at night was nothing short of excruciating. Overall, I was just done being pregnant and ready to be a mommy. And since we hadn't had a view of Liv's face since 20 weeks, we were just SO ready to finally see and meet her. So at 40 weeks and 4 days, we scheduled an induction at my checkup. Something I said I would never do. "I'll let her come when she's ready," said second trimester Kate. "GET THIS KID OUT OF ME!!" said a bawling 41 weeks pregnant Kate. I'm pretty sure my OBGYN thought I was losing it. And I probably was.
I was scheduled to be induced on Friday the 2nd. (Sorry to disappoint the 20+ people who said "you better have her before the New Year to get that tax break!" Sidenote: we still get a tax break this year...) "We'll have you come in at 6am Friday and get started. Just call first to make sure there is a bed open." Okay, great. Well 6am became 8am, which became noon, which finally became 4pm. Since I was giving birth in an Army hospital, I'll let you guess the babies being born to beds available ratio. Especially in Fort Polk, LA. Where people make babies because there's literally nothing else to do. Needless to say, they were right in the middle of a record-breaking weekend. 14 babies had been born in 2 days. Liv ended up being the 15th of 2015.
So after being anxious ALL day and barely sleeping the night before, Jason, Mom and I headed to the hospital around 3:30 that afternoon. We swung by admissions, picked up some paperwork, and headed to my LDRP room. I was finally in that snazzy hospital gown and hooked up to approximately 100 monitors by 5:30, when they realized I had started labor on my own. (Cue my thoughts of, "Are you for real, Olivia Grace?!?) I also literally can't believe I had started LABORING THE BIRTH OF A CHILD and had no idea whatsoever... Guess I was just super used to all those contractions! So my doctor decided to see what my body did over the next 2 hours on its own before I started on Pitocin. The contractions were 3-5 minutes apart and getting stronger but not getting any closer than that, so I started a small dose of Pitocin around 7:30.
If you talked to me before labor, you knew I had planned on going medicine-free for as long as possible (and hopefully the entire time). In my prenatal classes, I learned there were a lot of benefits in doing so that I hadn't really considered before (mobility, ability to feel when to push, faster labor, etc.). But honestly, the number 1 reason I didn't want it was they told me I'd have to get a catheter. Look, I get it. I'm having a baby and a catheter is my biggest concern? Yea. I'm a weenie. Whatever. By 1am, however, I was starting to lose my mind in pain! I got a small dose of pain killer in my IV, which made me feel completely drunk. Mom AND Jason had to walk me to the bathroom because I was so dizzy and confused. So I lost a few hours in a haze, napped, got it out of my system, and swore never again. Then for the next 4 hours, I just dealt with the pain. Til 5am. When I actually and completely lost my mind. I politely begged to call the anesthesiologist (who they promised me could be there in 16 minutes) "umm... NOW"! Thankfully, she she made it in what seemed like 5 minutes and saved my life. Early on, my first shift doctor basically said, get the epidural. Don't be a martyr. You'll be smiling as you push your baby out (this was a total lie btw), but about everything else, he was freaking right. The nurses explained to me going medicine free is awesome... if your water breaks at home, you come in 5cm dilated and ready to have a baby. Not for someone who had been 1-2cm for weeks, had to be induced, and was in intense early labor pain for hours. I never thought twice about getting it afterwards, and I have ZERO regrets that I didn't make it epidural-free. I had only dilated to 4 cm the first 10 hours of labor (1.5cm from when I'd come in). After I got the epidural, I took an hour nap, and woke up over 9cm dilated. My heart was jumping out of my body. It's go time... FINALLY!!!
I started pushing shortly thereafter. And thank God I had the best nurse in the history of L&D, who was super patient with me and let me move around and complain and cry and even throw up. (Umm, how did I not know that was a thing during labor, btw?) Well anyways, I got sick 3 separate times. But by #2 and #3, Jay got REALLY good at grabbing the sick bag.
Since I had gotten the epidural, I had no feeling in my legs. Since Mom and Jay were already in the room with me, they held them while I pushed. (p.s. you should know "held" was a pretty loose term on Jason's side, who, halfway through my pushing, dropped my leg to the ground {which I could not see}, and so when I heard a crash and asked "what was that?", we all laughed and admitted he was not holding my legs for baby #2.) Having them RIGHT there was never part of the plan. Mom was there to take pictures (don't panic... from the hips up!) and for moral support, and Jason could barely even be in the room during my regular pelvic exams throughout pregnancy without almost passing out. But everything started happening so fast, we really had no other choice. And it was awesome. They were rockstars. And much braver than me. I could not have done it without them period. Then two hours of pushing later (and after me repeatedly telling the doctor, "I actually can't do this anymore - I guess she's just staying in forever" and being 100% serious about that), the most beautiful baby came into this world.
She was cute, oh my. But she was also blue-grey. Something you see on tv or read about and know is never good. Well my doctor flipped her over quickly, rubbed her back, and then... nothing. No response. We heard none of the first cries you imagine hearing at least 1000 times while you're pregnant. Liv was not breathing. She was actually completely lifeless. So ignoring our birth plan of having Jay cut the umbilical cord, Dr. Ferguson immediately clamped and cut her and got her to the nurses.
"Is she okay?" I asked twice. No response the first time. "You're okay," was my favorite nurses's response the second time. I was too scared to look at Jason, so I calmly turned to Mom and asked the scariest question I've ever asked in my life... "Is she alive?" I don't remember if Mom answered me or not, but I will tell you now that she wasn't sure of the answer. Neither was Jason. We just had to wait. The next 5 minutes were the LONGEST of all our lives. But by the GRACE of God, we had the best nurses on the planet who were able to resuscitate her with oxygen and some more rubbing. When we finally heard her voice for the first time, I can't remember ever having had a better feeling. And I don't care what happens the rest of my life - I never will. Our baby was alive. And crying so beautifully.
So after a mere 19 hours, we finally had our little miracle in our arms. And it's everything everyone tells you it will be. A love you've never known, a complete feeling of awe, a confusion about how we MADE her (well, I mean, I know how we made her...) But seriously, it's the most wonderful thing in the world, plain and simple. And we're trying our best to soak in all these early moments that seem to fly by.
The one question people seem to ask now is, "has your view on life changed?" And the answer is, honestly, yes. Without question. I have said it more times than I can count... life before her just doesn't really seem to matter.
The one question people seem to ask now is, "has your view on life changed?" And the answer is, honestly, yes. Without question. I have said it more times than I can count... life before her just doesn't really seem to matter.
